My first thought after we’d gone separate ways was “I need to look good.” I need to look the best I can. I never tried to look my best around you, not even on dates, because you didn’t like fancy places like I did. You thought I was beautiful no matter what. But after that day, I woke up early every morning, picked out a matching outfit, did my skincare routine, put on some makeup. I took care of myself. It was such a huge step, in my eyes. But I had this feeling deep inside of me that told me I’d collapse soon, that the weight of losing something that held such a large space in my heart and mind, would soon knock me over and it would be incredibly hard to get back up.
It seems for once I was right.